Internets, fix mah house!

Mandi at VintageRevivals.com (one of my all-time favorite blogs) is hosting this awesome contest…

http://www.vintagerevivals.com/2012/08/epic-room-makeover-giveaway-contest-2012.html

I love the creative stuff Mandi comes up with (also, she’s hillarious)! The winner gets a room makeover by Mandi and her pal Hailee, and I really, really, REALLY want to win. So much so that I’m posting pics of our shamefully messy and falling-apart living room/kitchen for all the world to see.

So please stop by her site and vote for me (I’ll remind everyone when the voting opens). And if any of you ever need votes for whatever weird stuff you’re into, let me know and I’ll return the favor!

Dear Mandi,

First off, WOW. Wow that you're doing this, wow that you've got all those amazing sponsors backing you. Wow at the number of entries you have so far.

And I have to admit, having checked out all the awesome entries already posted, I'm a little worried that there's nothing that really makes mine stand out. I could give you the details of the rough year my husband and I have had, but several other submitters have been through much worse. We’re not a military family, just two mere mortals trying to figure out life and serve the human family in our own little way. Our house needs serious help (obviously), and we don’t have the money to make it happen, but these days, who does?

So, I’m just going to put my submission out there-- no gimmicks, no sob stories—and hope for the best. All of us entering this contest want the same thing: a room full of Mandiliciousness to call our own. May the best (or in this case, worst) room win!

About this room…

My hubby and I moved into this mobile home in beautiful Fort Collins, Colorado (yes, home of the Balloon Boy) five years ago. It was an incredibly generous gift from my parents, who were moving on to a new adventure in their lives. When my folks lived here, it was super-cute, all done up in my mom’s signature “cabin” style (think moose, bears, flannel, etc.)

And then… hubby and I moved in. When we tried to integrate my/our (okay, mostly my) eclectic style (and by “eclectic” I mean, “colors chosen by dartboard” and “totally random crap”) into this small space, somehow it didn’t quite… gel. Especially in the living room/kitchen combo known as the “front room”, which also serves as our office/study and crafting area, as we have no space for those activities elsewhere. (Seriously, besides the hot mess you see below, it’s just 1 BD, 1 BA.)

Our house has these horrible bare light bulbs everywhere… mostly because hubby is so tall, and our ceilings are so low, he spent the first few months in this place hitting his head on all the light fixtures. The few he didn’t break with his skull, we preemptively removed to prevent further incidents. But this one is by far the worst… it’s actually a ceiling fan with the blades removed (because they contributed to the ongoing minor head injuries). I would LOVE to replace all of our light fixtures with ones that fit closer to the ceiling.

Not having a huge budget for decorating when we moved in, I grabbed several cans of partially used paint from the chemical drop-off at our county landfill, and mixed various amounts of red, yellow and white, attempting to duplicate a paint color called "Chinese Lantern" (a light orange). What I ended up with would be more accurately called “Macaroni-and-Cheese.” (Also, this pic is from a few years ago… this whole area looks MUCH worse now—especially the curtains-- but as the camera I have now doesn’t have a very good flash, I couldn’t for the life of me snap a current pic that would show the paint color in all its retina-burning glory.)

That sad 90’s-rific loveseat has an even sadder couch counterpart that now lives on our porch (insert Dueling Banjos here). I bought a flowered yellow couch at the ARC thrift store thinking it went with the loveseat in that “eclectic” way, because the yellow couch has a little bit of red in it, and the red loveseat has a little bit of yellow in it. Apparently I took a wrong turn somewhere. (I know, pics or it didn’t happen, but see above info about my camera. You’re just going to have to trust me on this one.)

About the green paint in the kitchen: I actually like the color itself (a slightly more successful used paint mash-up than that in the living room). But I mistakenly thought that painting the living room and kitchen two different colors would help “define” the individual spaces. Um… no. It didn’t. It just looks like I ran out of one color and randomly picked another. I couldn’t get a good picture of the transition (or lack thereof), but trust me, it’s not pretty. (Another old pic, taken when we still had a few intact light fixtures. And yes, I made the curtains. Don’t judge.)

Dollar store picnic mat for a curtain? Why not?

Because that blurry gray blob on the couch thinks it makes a good scratching post, that’s why not. Oh look, you can kind of see the yellow couch in this pic! (Lucky you!) This wall is opposite the mac-n’-cheese wall. 

I have faith that this space could be re-worked to incorporate all the things we need it for (living room, kitchen/dining, office, crafting), and look awesome at the same time… but I can’t do it without you, Mandi and Hailee!

A few more reasons why I’d LOVE to win the ERM:

1)  Our taste is very similar (or rather, your taste is awesome, and I aspire to have it), and I’m open to anything! Obviously I love color and pattern, but lack the Mandibility to put it all together in a cohesive, eye-pleasing way.

2) Fort Collins is a thrifter’s paradise. Seriously. If you girls come here, you’ll end up shipping thrifted treasures back to your own houses. I’m not joking. We have at least a dozen thrift/consignment shops, ranging from junky to amazing and every flavor in between. Retail-wise, we got your Lowe’s, we got your HomeGoods, and we also have the amazing store ReSource, which sells recycled and reclaimed building materials, appliances and home improvement stuff like lighting and doorknobs. You would love it!

3)   I’m a hard worker, not afraid to get dirty, and have several pairs of ripped, paint-stained jeans to prove it. Also, I have tons of vacation time saved up and could easily take time off work to help with the makeover.

My kitchen island/dining table/sewing area/catch-all and I beg of you… please come help us! (Note the broken tile on the corner of the island. He has many, many relatives throughout the kitchen.)

One last desperate plea, in picture form…

(Is the guy in this painting praying, or just shielding his eyes from the glare of that bare bulb? Maybe both?)

Love your guts,

Heidi

P.S. If you need any more convincing, let me just say that I have this “friend,” Paula De LaTrailere, who is very anxious to meet Wanda and Sylvia for a day of thrifting…

Two posts in as many blogs

Moving this over from Wordpress, which apparently does not let you post a lot of photos. Which is something I need to do for this next thing I'm doing. Pardon all the hiccups while I learn about the internets.

Love,
Heidi

August 25, 2012

Blogging about blogging, on my blog.

I really have no reason to blog, other than the standard “everyone else is doing it.” And yes, if everyone else jumped off a bridge, I probably would, too. Because hey, there must be something wrong with the bridge, if all those people are jumping.

I don’t know if this is something I’ll get bored with after today, or keep up with on semi-regular basis, or… let’s just see what happens. I don’t like to put labels on things, okay?

About the title…

Most of you know that I work as an Activity Assistant at a nursing home. We offer manicures on Thursdays, and in the grand tradition of women making mindless small talk during communal beauty rituals, the resident whose nails I’m working on will generally ask me the same two questions about myself: “Are you married?” To which I respond “yes,” and of course the next logical question is, “Do you have children?” To which I must respond, “No.”

An awkward silence almost always ensues, during which I can see the wheels turning in their heads: Oh, dear. Is she infertile? You wouldn’t think so, with those hips, but you never know…And I find myself quickly adding, “Just a cat,” to sort of, you know, lighten the mood, and prove that I’m not totally heartless. This usually makes them smile.

One resident in particular, who has almost no short-term memory left, will sometimes ask me the married/children questions three or four times in the ten minutes it takes me to do her nails. Sometimes, I’m tempted to switch my answers up, just to see what would happen.No, I’m not married. Yes, I have fifteen children. Would you like to buy one?

Sometimes, depending on the resident, and if I’m feeling particularly saucy, I’ll respond with, “My husband is enough of a kid for me right now,” but I have to be careful with that one, because if they don’t “get” it, it can take some explaining, and there are few things in life more frustrating than trying to explain cheeky comments to the elderly, especially if they’re hard of hearing.

There was a time when many of the residents asked if I was a college student before diving into the married/children questions, which was quite flattering as I was in my early- to mid-thirties, but that doesn’t happen too often anymore. But that’s neither here nor there.